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As women, we strive to be IT, the Superwoman! Have it all together and look great while doing it! I was thinking about this the other day, and it hit me like a smack upside the head! I think my brand and my business it is also very much the avatar I have created. Strong, confident, fit and look like a rockstar in a pair of leather pants at any age. Truth is, we can be all those things, but we must be very careful with the idea of that goal. With everything strong and independent you must also have a soft and dependent side. It would be like having a world full of sunshine without rain. It cannot exist unless you add in the rain to cool, nourish and sustain the strength of the earth.

I have wanted to write this article for a while and literally woke one morning inspired to write as I watched a beautiful sunrise. I poured a cup of coffee and snuggled in on the couch with my dog and started to write, to share my ideas with you! I think it is important that we think about this; we discuss and learn from it. Society has shifted its ideals of women. We feel the push to be strong, independent women. To raise our voices louder, hold our opinions stronger and push down the other side of our femininity as that feels like weakness, and we are not weak … Superwomen are not weak. We have gone from the role of caregiver to the CEOs of businesses. I, myself went from a 100% caregiver role to the CEO of Kettlebell Kickboxing Canada.

… you must find harmony – not balance, because balance is equal and if you want to be unique and different, you don’t want to be equal – you want to be beautifully you.

In my mind for me and my business to be a success the only way was to be strong and independent. To show little softness, as nobody wants a weak leader. Those words are not wrong by any means but for harmony and growth in personal and business life, one must not just focus on strength and independence. It must hold both sides, so I believe it is important as a woman to embrace all sides of us and that includes the softer, caring nurturing side along with the strong independent side. I think often of our younger generation of Superwomen, as I also have two young daughters and nieces. We must share our knowledge, our information, our stories, and experiences to guide them. I believe it is our job to share our knowledge so we can all learn. Western society has over-swung the pendulum away from many things when it is too far, and we have to bring it back to make sense. I have had an experience where I let the pendulum swing the last 10 years too far; I have lived there all or nothing nurturing, then the feeling to find success I felt I had to swing the pendulum to the other way of always being super strong and confident. I sit here ready to share and tell you that it cannot be one way, you must find harmony – not balance, because balance is equal and if you want to be unique and different, you don’t want to be equal – you want to be beautifully you. Different cannot mean equal.

Now before I get too far ahead, I want to share experiences to shed the light on what I am speaking of. When I was married with 3 small children living in a beautiful 2-story home, my house was immaculate. You could pop in unexpectedly and find nothing out of place. With children aged 8, 6 and 3 it should have been constant chaos, but it wasn’t, I ran a tight ship. Perfection was my goal, and I am really good at perfection. Here starts the pendulum swing. Interestingly enough, the best times I remember with my kids were having messy fun. Where I would lay down cardboard, strip us down into our underwear and paint with the ambitions of an aspiring artist. This is what I would recognize later as finding harmony within the world of tidiness and neatness, though these were just slivers of time, not enough for harmony as my goal of perfection would push me far away from my own happiness. I think we sense the need to have both sides in our life – the tidy yet messy moments. Then we punish ourselves for veering off track when veering off is needed it is part of life that makes us whole.

Embracing all parts of our womanhood will allow you to become free and liberated!

When I left my marriage, I let the pendulum swing off yet again completely to the other side. Our house was a complete disaster zone. My mom would visit and try to tidy up, and I would become offended. Here is the thing: I had that pendulum so far one way, the neat and tidy, that I needed or felt I needed it to go the other way, now recognizing healthy individuals can maintain a middle state of being. I believe Superwoman needs to possess both sides, so she feels confident, happy, loved and nourished. The other part of Superwoman that we swing out of balance is we “think” she needs to take care of everyone else. Who fills up her cup so she can be the person she wants to be? This goes back to my life-changing moment in the gym where I stood looking in the mirror not able to lift anything when I was consistently training 2 hours a day. Recognizing that day that Superwoman’s physical powers are generated by her internal strength, I zapped them dead!

Here we are back again to embracing all sides of ourselves and finding harmony within. You may find your mind wanting to hear the world balance. Truthfully, I have the word balance tattooed on my hip to remind myself, but as I have learned over the years I want harmony, balance is when all things are equal, and I do not want that. I feel it is inconsistent with life as we never have equality, and I do not believe we should because in life it will pull us in certain ways as life ebbs and flows! Part of my Superwoman ideology is that I gave myself to my family as the 100% nurturer. When I started my business, I flipped that to 100% business. I don’t know if I consciously decided, but the pendulum swung that way and now I was in hot pursuit of creating a strong independent woman without needing anyone, but the woman who could take care of herself and her business.

Looking back on it now, I see Superwoman needs all areas of her life to be webbed together. We do not need to be perfect, because if you ever played the game with perfect you quickly realize you want off that podium for the Perfection Award fast! Remember, my house was perfect, my family looked perfect, and my husband at the time at counselling said “I was perfect” it is hard always thinking and trying to be perfect for everyone. I remember the counsellor asking me if I was perfect. I said I wasn’t, and she then stated ‘take her off the podium of perfection, nobody wants to live there”. Whenever someone today states “I am perfect” I smile and say yes “I am imperfectly perfect” as I appreciate nice words though state that imperfections of a superwoman beautifully make her the best version of herself. I believe you can be Superwoman, you can even sport that cape with leather pants if you must. Just know that a healthy happy Superwoman is not always strong and that she allows others to hold her in moments of weakness, recognizing that to be that best version of herself you must love all the parts of you including the soft and gentle parts. Our little girls can still want to grow up and idolize this superhero, let’s just guide them to recognize all the beautiful parts of this woman. Embracing all parts of our womanhood will allow you to become free and liberated!

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Jodi was a stay at home mom of 3 great kids for 13 years then ventured out into the fitness industry to become CEO of Kettlebell Kickboxing Canada & KBKB Studio. With a Bachelor in Physical Activity Studies with a Major Fitness/Lifestyle. Master Level Trainer in Kettlebell Kickboxing plus Maxwell Kettlebell Certified. Her passion for the kettlebell led to her purpose of helping others get stronger physically and mentally so they can become the best version of themselves.

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